Rooted Kids Collective — Week 5: Your No Matters Too

Week 5 · Lesson Plan

Your No Matters Too

A complete facilitation guide for parents and educators. No prior SEL or clinical training required.

Setting Up Week 6

This week's practice in noticing, stopping, and repairing sets up Week 6 directly. Recognising someone else's "no" — and recognising the big feelings that come up when we hear "no" ourselves — both bring up real emotions: disappointment, frustration, even sadness. Week 5 says here is the rule: we stop, and we can fix it if we miss it. Week 6 says, and here is what to do with how that feels.

Research Foundation

This week shifts the focus from the child's own voice to recognising and honouring the voices of others — the CASEL (2020) Social Awareness competency, which research links to early perspective-taking and theory of mind development (Denham, 2006). Hall (2023) frames community as a core protective factor, built through countless small moments of one person's boundary being noticed and respected by another. When children practise "stopping at no" and a simple repair ("I'm sorry, are you okay?"), they are rehearsing the relational skills — empathy, accountability, and care — that research consistently links to healthier peer relationships. (CASEL, 2020; Denham, 2006; Hall, 2023)

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Lesson Plan · Week 5

Reading Other People's Signals, Respecting a "No," and Repair

Age Range

PreK – Kindergarten (Ages 3–6)

Duration

3–4 sessions of 20–30 minutes each, or used flexibly across one week

Big Idea

Last week, children practised using their own "yes," "no," and "maybe." This week, they learn to notice and honour those same words — and the feelings behind them — when someone else says them. A friend's "no" matters exactly as much as their own, even when it is disappointing, even when no one says the word "no" out loud.

SEL Alignment

CASEL Core Competencies: Social Awareness (recognising other people's feelings, signals, and boundaries) and Relationship Skills (responding respectfully to a boundary, and repairing after a misstep)

Learning Goals

Child can recognise when someone else says yes, no, or maybe — in words or with their body
Child can respond to someone else's "no" by stopping right away, even if they feel disappointed
Child can name how it feels when their own "no" is respected, and connect that to how others might feel
Child can practise a simple repair if they do not catch a "no" right away ("I'm sorry, are you okay?")
Child can name a trusted adult to tell if someone does not stop after they say no

Materials

Worksheet 1 (Spot the Signal), Worksheet 2 (Your No Matters Too), Activity Cards, crayons or markers

Session 1
~25 min

Everybody Has a Yes, No, and Maybe Too
Remind children of last week's traffic light: green for yes, yellow for maybe, red for no. Now explain that everyone around them — friends, siblings, classmates, grown-ups — has their own traffic light too. Sometimes people show it with words. Sometimes they show it with their body: stepping back, crossing their arms, turning away, going quiet, or a worried face can all be a "no" signal, even when no one says the word "no." Use Worksheet 1 together — look at each scenario and decide: is this person showing a yes, a no, or a maybe?

Therapist Note — Social Awareness & Theory of Mind

Noticing that other people have their own thoughts, feelings, and signals — separate from but just as real as our own — is one of the core developmental milestones of early childhood (Denham, 2006). This is the CASEL Social Awareness competency in its most basic form: not "what do I want," but "what might they be feeling right now?" Practising this with low-stakes scenarios (a friend's face, a sibling's posture) builds the same noticing muscle children will use in every relationship for the rest of their lives.

Session 2
~20 min

When I See or Hear a No, I Stop
Introduce the rule: when someone says no — with words or with their body — I stop right away. It does not matter if I feel disappointed, it does not matter if I think they are being silly, it does not matter if we were having fun. The stopping happens first. The feelings can come after, and the feelings are allowed too.

Facilitator Script

"Last week we practised using our own yes, no, and maybe. Today we are going to practise something just as important: noticing when SOMEONE ELSE says no, and stopping right away.

Let us pretend we are playing a tickle game. I am going to tickle this stuffed animal, and when it says stop, I am going to stop right away — even if I am having fun.

[Demonstrate: tickle the toy, then say "Stop!" in a small voice for the toy, and immediately pull your hands back.]

Did you see that? The toy said stop, and my hands stopped right away. I did not finish my turn. I did not argue. I just stopped.

Now it is your turn. I am going to be the toy this time. Tickle my hand, and when I say stop, you stop right away. Ready?

[Let the child practise. Say "Stop!" partway through and notice whether they stop immediately. Praise the stopping, however it looks.]

That is exactly right. You can feel happy AND stop at the same time. You can feel a little disappointed AND stop at the same time too. Both feelings are okay — the stopping just happens no matter what."

Facilitation tip: Narrate your own stopping out loud during the week — "You said stop, so I'm stopping right now, even though I was having fun too." Watching an adult stop immediately, without sulking or arguing, teaches this rule far more powerfully than any worksheet.

Session 3
~20 min

If I Don't Stop Right Away, I Can Repair
Sometimes we do not catch a "no" right away — that happens to grown-ups too, not just kids. What matters most is what we do next: stop as soon as we notice, and repair. Practise the phrase together: "I'm sorry, I didn't stop fast enough. Are you okay?" Use Worksheet 2 and Activity Card 3 to practise this in a few different everyday scenarios.

Therapist Note — Repair as a Relationship Skill

Hall (2023) names community as a core protective factor — and communities are not built by never making mistakes, but by what happens after a mistake. A simple, sincere repair ("I'm sorry, are you okay?") teaches a child that a misstep does not end a relationship or define their character. This is the same skill, in miniature, that will help them navigate friendships, teamwork, and conflict for the rest of their lives.

Session 4
~20 min

Telling a Trusted Adult
Connect back to Week 3's body safety rules: if someone does not stop after you say no — again and again, or in a way that does not feel right — you tell a trusted adult. That is not "tattling." That is keeping everyone safe, including the other person. Close the week by reflecting together: think about a time your "no" was heard. Now think — is there a way you can help make sure that happens for someone else too?

For parents and educators: Children sometimes worry that telling an adult will get someone "in trouble." Frame it instead as keeping everyone safe and helping everyone learn the rule — including the adult helping both children practise stopping next time.

Recommended Books

Recommended Books for This Week

Stories That Support This Week's Theme

The Colour Monster

Anna Llenas

Helps young children identify and name emotions through colour, building the emotional vocabulary they need to recognise how others are feeling, which is the foundation of respecting others' boundaries and reading body language in this week.

Talk About It Together

Which colour monster do you think feels the most like how you feel today, and why?
When you see someone who might be feeling the red monster or the blue monster, what is one thing you could do to help them feel heard?

I Just Don't Like the Sound of No!

Julia Cook

Follows a character learning to handle hearing "no" from others without melting down — a direct mirror for this week's focus on receiving someone else's boundary with grace.

Hands Are Not for Hitting

Martine Agassi

Reinforces that other people's bodies have rules too, and connects gentle, respectful touch to noticing how someone else feels — a natural extension of Week 3's body safety rules.

Should I Share My Ice Cream?

Mo Willems (Elephant & Piggie)

A funny, low-stakes story about thinking through someone else's perspective before acting — perfect for practising the "what might they be feeling?" pause this week introduces.

Differentiation

For younger learners (3–4): Focus on Sessions 1 and 2, and on body language signals rather than words. Exaggerate your own facial expressions and gestures so the "no" signal is unmistakable. The freeze game in Activity Card 1 is a great place to start.

For children with anxiety, a trauma history, or low self-esteem: Some children have had real experiences of their "no" not being heard. Keep this week's tone validating rather than instructive. The "repair" framing in Session 3 is for everyday social moments (a game, a tickle, a hug) and should never suggest that a child is responsible for someone else not respecting their own "no." If a child discloses something that raises a safety concern, follow your jurisdiction's child safety and reporting protocols.

For neurodivergent learners: Reading body language can be one of the hardest parts of this week. Do not expect a child to identify subtle non-verbal cues independently — pair every body-language example with the words that go with it ("crossed arms AND saying I don't want to"), and anchor practice on the simplest, most learnable rule: when I hear the word "no" or "stop," I stop.

Coming Next

Week 6: I Can Handle It — closing out the Confidence & Boundaries unit by learning that hard moments happen, big feelings pass, and mistakes can be fixed.

Worksheet 1 · Week 5

Spot the Signal 👀

Name:

Date:

✏️ Everybody has a yes, a no, and a maybe — sometimes they say it with words, and sometimes they say it with their body. Read each one and circle: is this a YES signal, a NO signal, or a MAYBE signal?

Your friend says "Sure, let's play!" with a big smile.

Yes

Maybe

No

Your friend crosses their arms, turns away, and says nothing when you ask to play.

Yes

Maybe

No

Your sibling says "Ummm... maybe in a minute?"

Yes

Maybe

No

A classmate steps back and shakes their head when you go in for a hug.

Yes

Maybe

No

Your friend says "Okay!" and holds out their hand for a high five.

Yes

Maybe

No

Someone says "I don't know... I'm still thinking about it."

Yes

Maybe

No

A friend's face looks worried and they say "Stop, I don't like that."

Yes

Maybe

No

Draw what a "no" face might look like

Draw what a "yes" face might look like

Write or draw one way someone's BODY can say no, even without using any words:

Worksheet 2 · Week 5

Your No Matters Too 🤲

Name:

Date:

✏️ When someone tells you no — or shows you no with their body — here is what to do. Let's practise it together.

🛑 When I hear or see a "no," I do these three things:

1 I Stop

draw or write

2 I Breathe

draw or write

3 I Say "Okay"

draw or write

🔧 Oops! Sometimes I don't stop fast enough. Here is what "repair" sounds like:

"I'm sorry, I didn't stop fast enough. Are you okay?"

I can say this

"I didn't mean to keep going after you said no. Let's try something else."

I can say this

Last week, you practised saying your own "no." How did it feel when your "no" was heard and respected? Circle the face:

😄

Happy

💪

Strong

😊

Calm

😌

Relieved

😐

Okay

Now think about a friend. How do you think THEY feel when their "no" is heard and respected? Draw it:

If someone does not stop, even after you say no more than once, who is a trusted adult you can tell?

Activity Cards · Week 5

Your No Matters Too

Print, cut along the borders, and use throughout the week. Laminate for repeated use.

Activity Card 1 · Movement Game

🧊 Freeze! Stop Signal Game

How to play:

Play any movement game — dancing, marching, running in place.
At random moments, call out "Stop!" or hold up a flat hand. Everyone freezes immediately, no matter what they were doing.
After a few rounds, talk about it: "How did it feel to stop right in the middle of something fun? That is exactly how it can feel when someone tells us no — and we can still do it."

Activity Card 2 · Matching Game

🎭 Body Language Match

How to play: Take turns making a face and a pose that shows yes, no, or maybe — no words allowed.

Yes: big smile, open arms, nodding
No: crossed arms, frown, turning away, shaking head
Maybe: shrug, scrunched-up thinking face, tilted head

The other person guesses which one it is. Talk about which signals were easy to spot and which were tricky.

Activity Card 3 · Role Play Practice

🔧 Oops, Let's Fix It!

Practise these scenarios together:

You're playing tag and your friend says stop, but you tag them one more time before you notice. What do you say?
You go in for a high five but your friend pulls their hand back. What do you do?
You're tickling someone and they say stop, but you don't hear it right away. What happens next?

Practise saying together: "I'm sorry, I didn't stop fast enough. Are you okay?"

Activity Card 4 · Week Reflection

🌿 Whose No Matters? Everyone's!

Talk it through together:

Was there a moment this week when you noticed someone else's yes, no, or maybe?
Was there a time you stopped right away when someone said no — how did that feel?
Everyone's "no" matters the same amount: yours, your friend's, a grown-up's — everyone's.

Celebrate it: Draw or write about a moment this week you really listened to someone.

Week 5:Your No Matters Too

Week 5:
Your No Matters Too