A consent and assertiveness unit for early learners. Helping children ask clearly, say no with kindness, and trust that "maybe" is a complete answer too — grounded in SEL frameworks and therapeutic best practice.
The yes, no, and maybe language children practise this week becomes a two way street in Week 5. Once children can use these words for themselves, the next step is learning to notice and honour them when someone else uses them too. This week gives children the words. Week 5 teaches them to listen for those same words in others.
This week builds directly on self-determination — what Hall (2023) describes, citing Reid-Merritt (2010), as the opposite of the identity-altering pressure institutions can place on children. "Yes," "no," and "maybe" are the smallest, most everyday units of self-determination: knowing what you want, saying it clearly, and trusting that the answer — whichever one it is — is allowed to stand. Children who practice this in low-stakes moments (a game, a snack, a hug) build the same internal muscle they'll need in higher-stakes ones later. (Hall, 2023; CASEL, 2020)
A printable stoplight visual is included with this week for younger learners and neurodivergent children who may find it easier to point to a colour than to read or write their answer.
To use: Print the stoplight page and place it in front of the child. Read each question aloud and invite them to point to the colour that matches their answer.
This variation requires no writing or drawing and removes the pressure of producing a verbal response. The child simply points. Their answer is complete and valid.
This approach is recommended for:
All answers given by pointing to the stoplight carry exactly the same weight as written or drawn answers. There is no lesser version of participation here.
Hall (2023), drawing on Reid-Merritt (2010), frames self-determination — knowing what you want and value, and having that count — as the foundation of liberation work, starting in early childhood.
When a child says "no" to touch or "maybe" to a game and that answer is simply accepted, they are rehearsing the exact internal process they'll need later to recognise and act on their own wants and limits in much higher-stakes situations.
Every time we honour a child's yes, no, or maybe in a low-stakes moment, we are building the internal architecture they will rely on for the rest of their lives.
Hall, S. (2023). Shaping identities: How social work education made me white. Master of Social Work Thesis, McMaster University.
Reid-Merritt, P. (2010). Righteous self-determination: The black social work movement in America. Inprint Editions.
Facilitation tip: Narrate your own kind "no"s out loud during the week — "No thank you, I don't want to right now, but I appreciate you asking." Hearing an adult say no calmly, without guilt or anger, is one of the most powerful models a child can have.
Here is an example of how to guide this activity with your child or student:
You: Today we are going to practise saying yes, no, and maybe.
All three answers are equally good. What matters is that the answer is honest and it is yours.
Let me show you what I mean.
If I asked you: Do you want to come with me to the store?
You might say yes because you really want to go.
You might say no because you want to stay home.
You might say maybe because you are not sure yet.
And all three of those answers are completely okay.
Let us practise together. I am going to ask you something and you answer honestly. Yes, no, or maybe.
Do you want to go for a walk right now?
[Pause and wait for the child to answer. Accept whatever they say without question or persuasion.]
That is a great answer because it is your honest one.
Now let us try another one.
If a friend asked you to play a game you are not sure about, what might you say?
[Pause for response. If the child says "maybe," explore: "What would help you decide?" If they say "no," affirm: "That is a complete answer. No is enough."]
Remember: yes, no, and maybe are all good answers. What makes an answer good is that it is true for you.
Learning to receive a "no" without it threatening one's sense of self is a community-building skill as much as an individual one — Hall (2023) names community as a core protective factor. A child who can hear "not right now" from a friend and stay in relationship with them (rather than feeling rejected entirely) is practicing the resilience that holds relationships — and communities — together.
Note for parents: Where possible, let "maybe" actually mean maybe — circle back later rather than treating it as a soft "no" to be overridden. This keeps the word trustworthy, which keeps the child's voice trustworthy too.
✏️ Green means YES, red means NO, and yellow means MAYBE — and all three are good answers! Read each one and decide what's true for YOU.
🖍️ For each question below, colour in the circle green for YES, red for NO, or yellow for MAYBE. All three are good answers!
✏️ "No" can be a calm word. Let's practice turning a "big" no into a "kind" no — they both mean the same thing, but one is easier for everyone to hear.
🔄 Flip it! Read the "big" no — then write or circle the "kind" no flip: