Unit 1: My Strong Self — Children move from body awareness and body safety rules into the social application of those skills. They learn to express yes, no, and maybe assertively in peer contexts and develop language for navigating peer pressure.
Hall (2023), drawing on Reid-Merritt (2010), frames self determination as the foundation of liberation work. Assertiveness is one of the most concrete expressions of self determination in everyday social life.
Research on social skills development consistently shows that assertiveness is a learnable and practicable skill, not a fixed personality trait. Children who are currently passive or reactive in their responses are not failing. They are at an earlier point in a skill that can be explicitly taught and deliberately practised.
For children who present as predominantly passive: approach this content with particular sensitivity. Passivity at this age is often a learned safety strategy, not a preference. Pushing too hard for assertiveness before trust is established can backfire.
For children who present as predominantly aggressive: this content offers a genuine alternative rather than just a correction. Frame assertiveness as getting more of what you actually want, not as being less of yourself.
You: I am going to describe some situations that real kids your age deal with. I want you to think about what you would actually do. Not what you think you should do. What you would actually do.
Situation 1: Your friend group is making fun of someone and they look at you expecting you to join in. What do you do?
[Pause for responses. Accept all honest answers without judgment. This is a safe space to be honest.]
What would a passive response look like there? What would an aggressive response look like? What would an assertive response look like?
[Work through all three together.]
Now here is the harder question: What would actually be hard about the assertive response in that moment?
[Let children name the real barriers: fear of being left out, not wanting to make it worse, not knowing what to say. Validate all of them.]
You: That is exactly right. Knowing what to do and being able to do it in the moment are two different skills. Today we are practising both. The more you rehearse it here the more available it is when you actually need it.
The most important step to emphasise with this age group is Step 4. Pressure to decide quickly is itself a warning sign. Teaching children to recognise urgency as a manipulation tactic is one of the most transferable safety skills in this entire curriculum.
For children who are predominantly passive and find assertiveness deeply uncomfortable: Start with low stakes scenarios only. Do not push into the harder peer pressure scenarios until comfort with the framework is established. Celebrate any moment of named preference as progress.
For children who are predominantly aggressive: Focus on the assertive response as something that actually gets them more of what they want. Frame it as a strategy, not a softening.
For children who have experienced significant peer rejection or bullying: This content may bring up painful memories. Have a plan for one on one check ins after sessions this week.
The role play scenarios can be completed verbally without the written component for children who find writing activating or difficult for this kind of personal content.
The decision tree can be printed as a standalone card and laminated for children who benefit from a physical reference tool they can carry with them.
One person reads a scenario. The other responds three times: once passively, once aggressively, once assertively.
Switch roles after each scenario.
When someone asks you to do something you are not sure about, run through this:
Step 1: Check your body. Yes feeling, no feeling, or not sure yet?
Step 2: Would I be okay if a trusted adult knew I was doing this?
Step 3: Yes means I can say yes. No means I say no or not right now. Not sure means I say I need to think about it.
Step 4: Pressure to decide fast is a signal. Real friends and safe situations wait.
Step 5: Changing your mind is always allowed.
A bystander is someone who sees something happening but does not do anything. Sometimes we are bystanders because we do not know what to do.
Read each situation. Talk about what a bystander would do versus what someone who speaks up would do.
Situation 1: You see a group of kids excluding someone at lunch and making comments about them.
Situation 2: You watch a friend get dared into doing something they clearly do not want to do but they go along with it.
Situation 3: You notice someone in your class is being spoken to unkindly by another student every day.
Each time you say what you actually think or feel this week, even something small, write it here. This is your evidence that you are building this skill.
At the end of the week look back. What do you notice about yourself?