Unit 1: My Strong Self — A confidence and identity unit for early learners in Grades 1 to 3. Grounded in SEL frameworks and therapeutic best practices, designed for the classroom and the home.
Hall (2023) draws on sociological research showing that self concept is built largely through reflected appraisals: what we see mirrored back to us by the people around us. In early childhood those mirrors are primarily caregivers and family members. By Grades 1 to 3 peer feedback begins to compete significantly with adult feedback in shaping how children see themselves.
This activity creates a deliberate moment of self directed reflection that is independent of peer or adult evaluation. The child is the expert on themselves here. That is the point.
If a child says they cannot think of any strengths or dismisses their own answers, do not rush to correct them. Ask: What would someone who loves you say you are good at? Then ask: Do you think they might be right?
Hall, S. (2023). Shaping identities: How social work education made me white. Master of Social Work Thesis, McMaster University.
You: Everyone has an Inner Critic. Even me. Even the most confident person you know. It is the voice that says you are not good enough or what if you fail.
But here is the thing about the Inner Critic. It is not trying to be mean. It is trying to keep you safe from embarrassment or disappointment. It just gets the volume wrong sometimes.
The Inner Coach is the other voice. The one that says I can try. I have done hard things before. I do not have to be perfect to be worth something.
Let me give you an example. You are about to present something to the class. What does your Inner Critic say?
[Pause and let students respond. Write their answers on a board or paper if possible.]
Now what might the Inner Coach say instead?
[Pause for responses. Validate all of them.]
Here is what I want you to know. You do not have to silence the Inner Critic. You just have to turn up the volume on the Inner Coach.
Let us practise. I am going to say an Inner Critic thought and you give me an Inner Coach response.
Inner Critic: I am going to get this wrong and everyone will notice.
Inner Coach?
[Wait for response. Offer if needed: Maybe something like: I might make a mistake and that is okay. Everyone does.]
Inner Critic: I am not as good at this as the other kids.
Inner Coach?
[Wait for response.]
Good. You just practised something that takes most adults years to learn.
For children who say they have never surprised themselves or cannot think of an example, offer these prompts:
Any of these count. Small surprises are still evidence of capability.
For children who struggle with written expression: Allow verbal responses recorded by the facilitator or allow drawing as the primary mode throughout.
For children with high anxiety or low self esteem: Begin with Session 3 instead of Session 1. Starting with a surprise moment is often less threatening than a direct strengths assessment.
For children who are resistant or dismissive: Do not push. Offer the reflection as optional writing and sit alongside them without expectation. Resistance at this age often signals that the content is close to something real.
The Strengths Inventory on Worksheet 1 can be used as a verbal checklist for children who find reading difficult. Read each strength aloud and ask the child to give a thumbs up if it resonates. Their top three can be circled by the facilitator on their behalf.
All reflection prompts can be completed verbally and recorded by a trusted adult without any loss of meaning or value.
One person says an Inner Critic thought out loud. The other person responds as the Inner Coach. Take turns. Try to do five rounds each.
This week practise noticing strengths in others.
Each day pick one person in your life and name one strength you see in them. You do not have to tell them, although you can if you want to.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote a complete story in six words. Your challenge: describe yourself in exactly six words.
Not what you look like. Not what you are good at. Who you actually are.
Share with a partner if you feel comfortable. Talk about: Why did you choose those six words? What word did you almost use but did not?
Write a short letter to your Inner Critic. Thank it for trying to protect you. Then tell it when you need it to be quieter.
Dear Inner Critic, I know you are trying to help me when you say... But what I actually need from you is...
There is no wrong way to write this letter. Nobody has to read it unless you want to share it.